Hospice Spirit

September 29, 2020

Life has this way of throwing us curve balls! Sometimes they comes fast and we don’t even have time to react…Other times we swing hard but miss the connection completely. 
At times, we may think we are ready for a change, but even then we can’t always anticipate what our reaction will be when it happens. We know that change is one of those things in life we can always count on, and yet, even when we are expecting it, it can come as a shock.  

So how do we respond in the face of change? Sometimes our initial reaction takes hold and emotions overwhelm us and they do so for some time…At other times we experience shock and seem to operate without any feelings—we go into “get things done” mode and experience the feelings later. Occasionally we are so ready for change that it can be a sense of great freedom and peace. 

I think when any big change comes in our life, whether we initiate it, anticipate it or it comes at us out of the blue, we need to be aware that there will be an adjustment period—depending on the change itself, our readiness or whatever else is going on in our lives. We need to give ourselves time to adjust. We also need to believe that we will be okay and we will adjust, even if we can’t fully believe it in the moment. We need to believe and trust that while change can be unwanted and, at times, so painful, with it comes growth and new life…new beginnings. We will not feel this at first, but we must at the same time trust it will happen. We will get through, we will find the beauty again. 

Surrounding yourself with support and with things and people in your life that act as stabilizers for you will help too. Having a safe place to land and a listening ear are key to working through the adjustments.   There is such comfort and healing in knowing we are not alone.  No one can take away our pain or change our circumstance for us, but we can get strength from the care of others.  Reaching out is key as opposed to isolation. Of course initially we may want to take cover and be alone in our thoughts and alone in our grief…but healing happens more easily in community;  when we can become vulnerable and allow others in. Pain is meant to be shared, not owned and carried with us forever. The memories and the growth will always be ours, but the pain is meant to be felt and then released. 

Recently a song was sent to me which captures the adjustment through change which we all face at one time or another.

 It is by artist Audrey Assad and it is called Shiloh:

“When pain comes to show you what you’d rather not know.  What will your heart do?  What will you let go?  May loving kindness calm the raging of the wound.  May your healing be a clearing in the wood.  May you breathe in deeper than you ever could before. See what you’ve lived through so you can grieve it (you can let it go) and draw it towards you… Catch and release it (you can let it go).  And now as your tears flow, let them be cleansing, washing your heart so you can be mending.  For every seed there’s a time to grow…through yesterday’s curtains, maybe you’ll open a window… so everything broken, can be made whole.  Where everything’s shattered, you will find your Shiloh.”

Audrey Assad

Take care of yourself and each other,

Lori, Spiritual Care Cooridnator

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